On a more personal note...

Have you ever seen someone walking on the street or somewhere, and thought to yourself – “Wow, I wish I could just be her!”? You don’t even really know the person, but you just feel that she might be more “normal” than you. Well I do that a lot – I think, “wow it would be so nice to have her life and see if she thinks the same things that I do.”

Well, we had stake conference today and to me the central message was being positive and happy. This is something I have struggled with for a lot of my life. I have never had a very high self-esteem or been happy with myself, for various reasons. Currently I am unhappy because we are still living in Rexburg, a town I dislike a lot, waiting for our life to start. I feel like we should have already moved on from this point. We have been married for three years now, and most of the people I know who have been married that long have at least one, if not two, kids. I am constantly on Tyler’s case begging him to hurry up and graduate, and sometimes blaming him for me being miserable. I know it’s not his fault; it’s just where we are in our lives. I want to just jump ahead into the future. I was talking to Emily, a good friend of mine, and she was telling me that she has learned to stop waiting for their life to start, because right now is their life. It could take a lot of time to get to where you think your life begins (a life like my parents have – with a house, kids, careers…). She has made the decision to just be happy and enjoy this part of their lives because it’s either that or be miserable waiting for the time to pass. And honestly, I am sick of being miserable about it. So…I am turning over a new leaf. I am going to accept this as our life, and enjoy it. During my time browsing other people’s blogs, I have found my new mantra. I am going to recite it everyday to get some self-worth back.

I am all of these things, and more, and so are all of you.